You asked for more, and here they are! We’re on our way to the Top 100, so if you have suggestions and comments, please send them along.

Our Top Relationship Movies Of All Time, Pt 2

Thanks for all the positive comments and thoughtful posts inspired by our earlier Top Ten list. We’ve been working on a second list, on our way to what will ultimately become The Top 100 Relationship Movies Of All Time.

Here are five more for your enjoyment. We look forward to hearing from you about these and others you recommend.

11. High Fidelity
This droll comedy features John Cusack, one of our favorite actors, and the remarkable Danish actress, Iben Hjeljle (pronounced EE-ben YAY-luh.) We first saw her in a touching movie called “Mifune,” and have been big fans ever since. She turns down most roles she’s offered (including Lord of the Rings) because she doesn’t like to travel away from her family for long periods of time. We’re glad she took the role of Laura in High Fidelity, though, because she is absolutely brilliant in it. The movie explores key themes such as fear of commitment and how to deal with breaking free of a dead-end job. Also, for those of us who love music, there are wonderful musical treats in this fine little work of art.

12. Somewhere In Time
Produced by our longtime friend and colleague, Stephen Simon, Somewhere In Time is one of the deepest and most atmospheric movies of all time. Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour will always live in the hearts of Spiritual Cinema lovers everywhere, playing the time-traveling couple that fate has united and re-united through ages. The lush score by John Barry is also one of the major triumphs of this movie.

13. Impromptu
Did you know about the passionate love-affair between the novelist George Sand and the musical genius, Frederic Chopin? Neither did we before we saw this moving drama about their love, life and times. George Sand was the pseudonym of a French woman, Amantine Aurore Lucille Dupin, who became the first great female novelist in French history. Played to perfection by Judy Davis, she was very far ahead of her times, dressing in men’s clothing and smoking cigarettes, both scandalous activities in 1830s Paris. Chopin and his music melt her flinty heart, leading to a complex relationship with the delicate musician (played by Hugh Grant.) There is a sub-plot involving Chopin’s friend, Franz Liszt, whose harried married life and henpecked-husband status Chopin very much wishes to avoid. There are many layers to this movie, which is why we’ve watched it several times, with growing appreciation every time.

14. In America
This movie has great depth and a big heart; it’s just the kind of art we most appreciate. Paddy Considine and Samantha Morton play an Irish couple struggling to survive in New York City, where the husband has come to fulfill his acting dreams. Living in a seedy apartment with their two young daughters, the couple comes to terms with loss, deception and death, learning a great deal about themselves along the way. Part of the charm of this movie comes from the two transcendently beautiful children, who express their own reactions to events but also act out, as children do, the subconscious feelings and needs of the parents. We found ourselves thinking and talking about this movie long after we’d seen it for the first time, and now after repeated viewings, we continue to regard it highly.

15. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
One of the most innovative movies ever made about relationships, Eternal Sunshine works on many levels. Written by Charlie Kaufman (Adaptation; Being John Malkovich) and starring Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, there is awesome talent at work here. The plot is zany but has deep roots in relationship wisdom. Is there anybody who hasn’t struggled with trying to get over a break-up? As Jim Carrey’s emotionally-withdrawn character undergoes a procedure to erase memories of the free-spirited Clementine from his mind (a procedure she’s already undergone,) he realizes as his memories fade that he must do everything to get her back. Is it too late? Will he be able to learn from his past errors and regain the love that transformed him? We found ourselves enthralled by the bold, quirky concepts and the brilliant performances of the main characters. Stellar performances also by Tom Wilkinson and Kirsten Dunst.

Kathlyn and I saw a movie this weekend that we really enjoyed. I think you would appreciate its warmth and genuineness. It’s called ONCE. The story is about a talented folksinger who plays for coins on the streets of Dublin. He meets a young woman, a Czech immigrant, and strikes up an unusual love affair. The music in the movie is also perfectly matched to the overall tone. I’m not usually a big fan of the one-guy-with-a-guitar type of folk music, but in this case the lyrics and the music really complement the movie.

Some of the language and the accents in the first ten minutes of the movie put me off a bit, but I’m very glad I got past it because the movie has a great deal of charm and wisdom about love, life and creative expression. Enjoy!

And now, the final films on our Top 10. (We have already received many nominations of other films suggested by my readers. We’ll compile them shortly and post them here on the blog.)
Enjoy!

Love Actually
Oh, how do we count the joys of this multi-faceted heart-fest? First, you get to feast your eyes and ears on some of the greatest actors of our time: Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman and Colin Firth. Second, there is a wildly funny turn by Bill Nighy, an aging rock star who makes an improbable promise he ultimately must make good on. Third, the movie touches on themes that everyone has confronted at one time or another: the challenges of communication, forgiveness after a betrayal, the healing power of love, even the transformation of a feisty secretary (nicknamed “Plumpy” by her father) into a Prime Minster’s consort. Full of good old-fashioned cheer, this movie is a good one to watch during the holiday season.

Tootsie
In our opinion, the most perfect comic screenplay ever written. Then, when you add Dustin Hoffman’s performance, one of the greatest in the history of film, you have a movie for the ages. The primary relationship-wisdom explored in the movie is the search for authenticity. It captures brilliantly the struggle for authenticity that happens in every close relationship. Each of us is wrapped in layers of persona, the masks we wear to get through the rigors of childhood and adolescence. When love emerges and takes us on its eternal journey, the masks are revealed as what they are: covers for the inner conflicts we fear and the inner magnificence we deeply seek to express. If we remove the masks, we set about the task of resolving our inner conflicts and expressing our true potential. If we choose to cling to our masks, fearing what lies beneath, we continue to obscure our true identity and rob ourselves of the ability to make our creative contribution to the world. Tootsie’s got all that in it, plus some of the funniest, wisest dialogue ever written.

All Of Me
The Buddha taught a crucial piece of relationship wisdom that’s brought to life in this comedy classic: each of us must integrate the masculine and feminine elements within us to be fully enlightened. The story is that, due to bizarre circumstances, half of Steve Martin’s body is occupied by the spirit of a wealthy rage-aholic (played to mean-spirited perfection by Lily Tomlin.) This leads to many complications, many of which come to life in Steve Martin’s inspired body-language throughout the movie. The relationship wisdom you gain from the movie is important, even life-changing: until we become one with all parts of ourselves, we cannot be fully present for the one we love.

Jillian’s Vantage
One of the greatest short films ever made, this movie was in the first collection sent out by The Spiritual Cinema Circle, www.spiritualcinemacircle.com. Made by a gifted filmmaker named Geno Andrews, Jillian’s Vantage brings together a man and a woman who are dealing with their life-challenges in very different ways. This movie’s “reveal,” the Ah-Ha! Moment, is one of the most satisfying we’ve ever seen. From a relationship perspective, Jillian’s Vantage touches on a crucial issue we all face in relationship, how to come to terms with the flaws we perceive in ourselves. The movie shows us, with great sensitivity and wisdom, how to shift our view of those flaws, and by doing so, heal them.

A Cool, Dry Place
This is one of the best movies ever made about the realities of commitment. The characters in this movie reveal complex layers and committed lives. We love it that the dad lives out the job loss and child-care issues that usually appear in the woman’s role. We love it that the characters are intelligent and that we can learn something about deep bonding from a film that is so entertaining. We also love seeing a soft, caring relationship between a father and son. Vince Vaughn gives a stunning performance here, the best work we’ve seen from him.

In my last post, I put the first part of our list. Now, here’s the next piece, with #3, 4 and 5 on the list.
GH

The January Man
This overlooked gem is a thriller that we recommend primarily because of one brilliant scene. It takes place toward the beginning, so if you don’t like the thriller aspects of the movie you can skip the rest. Watch closely the scene between Kevin Kline and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio in the restaurant at the ice-skating rink. It has one of the best examples ever of how to speak honestly in relationships. If people could learn to talk to each other like this, there would be far fewer problems in relationships.

Truly, Madly, Deeply
This heartful drama, directed by Anthony Minghella, is one of the most beautiful movies we’ve ever seen. It not only has magical performances from Juliet Stevenson and Alan Rickman, it also teaches powerful healing-lessons about how to come to terms with loss and grief. One high moment of the movie comes when the characters quote a poem from Pablo Neruda. Just thinking of that moment brings tears to our eyes.

Monsoon Wedding
This comedy/drama, directed by Mira Nair, is a loving look at the complexities of an Indian culture in which arranged marriages often match partners whose hearts belong to others. But this wise movie speaks to a universal problem: when you withhold a truth from your partner, you pull back from the relationship and project your own fears and fantasies onto the other person. The film shows a beautiful example of how to resolve this problem through authentic emotional expression. When the truth is finally spoken, the betrothed partners find a depth in each other (and themselves) that had gone unseen before.

Over the next several entries to my blog, I’ll give you the Top !0 list Katie and I have been working on for quite some time. First, how did we choose the movies? Our criteria combined artistic merit with the ability of the movie to shed light on the inner workings of relationships, and how to maximize their potential. In addition, all the movies we selected share that elusive quality known as heart. We’ve watched hundreds of movies during the nearly 30 years we’ve been together. These are the ones that moved us deeply as works of art and inspired us to recommend them as teaching-tools at seminars and professional conferences.

Any Top 10 list is arguable, subjective and highly debatable. If you’re a relationship-movie enthusiast, we look forward to hearing about what your favorites are. Please send your nominations to us at info@hendricks.com.

Here’s the list, followed by short write-ups about why each movie was chosen and what you might learn from it.

1. Moonstruck
2. The Holiday
3. The January Man
4. Truly, Madly, Deeply
5. Monsoon Wedding
6. Love Actually
7. Tootsie
8. All Of Me
9. Jillian’s Vantage
10. A Cool, Dry Place

Moonstruck
This masterpiece has many things to recommend it, but if we were going to pick just one thing it would be the tour-de-force speech about victimhood and responsibility that Nicholas Cage gives in the basement of the bakery. Everyone interested in relationships should watch this scene (we’ve probably watched it 100+ times.) It’s not only brilliant acting but also shows exactly how people can get trapped in a painful moment in the past that causes them to adopt a view of themselves as victims and reject love that’s being offered to them in the present. Also, the ending scene around the dinner table is ensemble acting at its exquisite best.

The Holiday
What a treasure! Nancy Meyers wrote, directed and produced this warm-hearted miracle of a movie. It’s got a lot of useful wisdom in it about how to get unstuck from past relationships so you can be present in the moment to give and receive love. Kate Winslet and Jude Law give luminous performances. Pay particularly close attention to Kate Winslet’s tirade toward the end when she’s finally closing the door on her boyfriend, the quintessential handsome cad she’s been putting up with for ‘way too long. If you’ve ever been lied to by someone who’s says they love you, you’ll laugh and wince and learn a lot at she gives him his come-uppance.

More to come in my next post….

For those of you who love to learn by listening, we’ve created a new resource for you. Alex Mandossian set up a replay page where you can listen to or download the interview he did with me about Five Wishes. The important thing about the interview is that I take all the participants through the Five Wishes process ‘live’ and in great detail. You can replay it any time and get the process spoken right into your ear, just as we would if you were at a ‘live’ seminar. It’s very useful, and we’re getting great feedback from it.
Here’s where to go: http://www.5wishesbooktour.com/
Please pass along this info to anyone you think could benefit.

Last night Kathlyn and I drove down to LA so I could do a talk and book-signing at The Bodhi Tree. If you’re unfamiliar with LA, The Bodhi Tree is one of the oldest and biggest metaphysical bookstores in the world. I love this store! Not only are the people who run it knowledgeable, kind and efficient, but the whole atmosphere is conducive to asking the big questions. The light scent of incense in the air, the soft New Age music in the background, the quiet conversations going on in corners of the store–all of it has the feeling of learning, transformation and magic.

The talk and book-signing went well, and people asked great questions in our Q&A session. I showed the movie that accompanies the book, and as a special treat, Michael Goorjian (who directed and starred in the movie and helped me write it) got there just as the movie was ending. He was in LA to supervise the final editing of the movie we’ve just produced for Louise Hay. More on this fascinating project at a later date.

Readers of my blog have been chiding me lately for not having posted anything in a while. I appreciate the nudges, so let me take a quick moment here to catch you up on what’s been going on. For the last month or so I’ve been deeply immersed in getting ready for the official launch of my new book, FIVE WISHES, which happens next week. At the same time my movie team has been finishing production of a film we’re making with Louise Hay, a cinematic version of her great book, YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE. Michael Goorjian has been directing it and also supervising the final edit, and it’s due to premiere this month, also. Much of my time this month has been occupied by radio and magazine interviews, including many 5 a.m. and 6 a.m. radio interviews on east coast shows. I see on my calendar that I’ve got a radio interview at midnight tonight, so as you can see, I’m burning the midnight oil on giving FIVE WISHES a good launch.

Speaking of Michael, movies and such, be sure to get your free copy of the movie that goes along with FIVE WISHES. Michael directed and starred in the movie, which also features the acting debut of (insert drum roll here) ME! The movie brings to life the conversation in the first chapter of the book. On October 18 and thereafter, you can get the movie and book at http://www.5wishesbook.com . If you buy the book at your local bookstore, save the receipt so you can get your copy of the movie when you go to the website.

Lucy, our beloved cat, has come in to see what I’m up to, and I can tell by her plaintive tone that she’s ready for a snack. Come to think of it, that sounds like a good idea to me, too.

Seems like almost every week this summer there’s been another awful example of hypocrisy in politics. The latest was Senator Larry Craig busted in a men’s room soliciting sex from an undercover officer. I have my beefs about wasting police time on this sort of thing, but what I want to bring to your attention right now is the huge cost of the hypocrisy involved with the senator’s denial. Even though he pleaded guilty, and even though he had kept the bust secret from his family all summer, guess what he did at his press conference? He brought out his wife and kids to stand beside him at his press conference. I felt a wave of pain when I saw the beleaguered look of his wife as she attempted to present a brave, proud face to the world. Then, I read a story which made my stomach sink (link below), an interview with his son in which he said he believed his father because his dad had looked him in the eye and gotten him to believe the father’s version of the story. When I emailed the link to members of my family, I put in the subject line one word: Yuck. That’s how I often feel when I see someone use their kids as pawns in their political games. Imagine the painful sorting-out process the son is going to have to do later, simply because his father didn’t have the courage to look him (and the world) in the eye and tell the truth.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/6420AP_ID_BRF_Craig_Son.html