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The second commitment we explored in our book Conscious Loving complements the first about getting close. I commit myself to my own complete development as an individual. I phrase it this way currently: I commit to my full creative development as an individual. Over the years of our work with partners and singles I’ve realized that most people don’t fully occupy the continuum of valuing self IN the relationship.

Here are some of the myths about individuating:

     When Gay and I wrote Conscious Loving over twenty years ago, we poured everything we’d been exploring in our own relationship and from seminars into it. People responded, and it’s still in bookstores in its umpteeth printing. We are grateful to hear that people have used the six commitments as a basis for their wedding vows.  I thought this a perfect time of year to share them and how they’ve been useful over two decades.

I have been passionately curious about the language of movement for over forty years now and am so grateful that I’ve been able to engage with others interested in the meaning of movement. Though most people fall somewhere between Edison’s attitude that the only use for the body is to carry the head from place to place, and, works good, needs some maintenance, I find that once people go through the movement gateway, they are in wonderland territory.

     I’m going to suggest something radical in this electronic age—use your writing skills. Writing things down has a plethora of benefits, so many that even though we are known as first adapters in the electronic realm, pen and paper still hold a primary place in purse, pocket and office.