Radical Responsibility

I love the deeper meaning of “radical”—arising from or going to the root or source.  Our fifth co-commitment from Conscious Loving reads: I commit to acting from the awareness that I am 100 percent the source of my reality. Even 20 years ago, when the book first came out, this view of responsibility was considered radical in another way, as in, whhhaaat?!

     Here are some radical ideas I’ve learned about responsibility in the last two decades.  I use this commitment to refresh my experience of actually being able to respond authentically and fully in the moment rather than recycling old patterns and interactions.  Most people confuse responsibility with blame (who’s responsible for this mess?!) or burden (Okay, I said I’d do it, so I will—sigh).  I’ve also had various assumptions hurled when this commitment comes up, such as one version or another of, “So you’re saying that I created all the s*%^ in my life?!” No. I’m saying and invite you to consider that responsibility for your life starts when you take it. Before you step into 100% responsibility you’re like the ball in the pinball machine, zinging around at the effect of whatever biggest energy is pinging most loudly.  When you step into responsibility you get to learn how your actions and results are connected. Then each interaction with others becomes an opportunity for learning, discovering and collaborating. You get smarter and more resourceful all the time when you take responsibility.

    Cause here’s the thing: you are 100% the source of your reality, and so is everyone else. In relationship issues, the question for both people then becomes, how am I contributing to this? What can I do differently to create a different outcome? When both people (or everyone in the group) steps into their wholeness, their 100%, the game changes to collaboration rather than conflict and competition. It is SO tempting to say, yes but… Yes, but s/he actually did something wrong. Yes, but I actually am demonstrably right here in this particular situation—I have evidence!  These are the moments that this commitment was designed for. In the clutch, the moment you take a breath, feel yourself, and reclaim your creativity (wow, look what I’ve been up to!), you refresh your ability to respond to what is actually happening and to shape a new future with new responses.

     I’ve also found that the universe arranges my next lesson in being able to respond by providing interactions that are right on my learning edge. Any place where I feel victimized by others, such as an angry, demanding client or a company that has lost my carefully documented request, are opportunities to shift from blame to wonder and to ask, how can I take 100% responsibility here? I get to become smarter, more agile and more responsive day by day. I consider that customized curriculum extremely cool.

    I facilitate a movement activity in our seminars that consistently produces this result. People create easy and rapid changes, accelerate their creativity, get energized by interacting with others and stay connected while doing what they want. This only happens when each person is taking 100% responsibility.  So, familiar but miserable or radically sourcing your experience moment to moment?—you choose, truly.