Relationship Creativity 101

     There is a choice you can make in your relationships that ends conflict and opens collaboration. Before you read on, take a moment and see if you’d be willing to make a word substitution in your mind and speaking. Hmmmm, (imagine clock ticking…) Okay, if you’re ready, read on.

     In our seminars and coaching we teach people to open their bodies and breath to the rhythm that puts them into harmony with the way the world works. We call it the Yes Breath because breathers move their spines and heads in a way that signals yes  and that invites space and connection. You can watch this video to see and feel this experience.  

     That same “yes” can create bridges for giving and receiving more positive energy with those you meet, work with and live with day to day.  For example, your partner says, “I had a hard day at work today.” You say, “Yes, I hear you.” You don’t say, “You think YOU had a bad day—wait till you hear about mine!” Just putting yes at the beginning of your response lets down the drawbridge and invites more communication.

     Here’s where the magic comes in.  Even if people have mastered the general practice of yes, they often follow that with “but.” Yes, but… For instance, Yes, but my day was harder. Yes, but we have to pay the bills first. Yes, but I’m tired.  I want to invite you to step into the Yes, and practice plan for a month before grades are given.  Follow “yes” with “and.” This gives you a chance to add to the conversation, the ideas and the momentum. 

     Remember first trying to play catch and dropping or missing the ball most of the time? Remember when you were able to catch AND return the toss—bliss!  You can recreate that magic in your interactions by saying “yes, and…” seeing what you dream up. You’ll get much more skilled at the creative toss and rekindle juiciness in your relationships.

     Here are some examples:

Yes, and I’d like to hear more.

Yes, and it sounds as if you had some feelings emerge.

Yes, and what would you like about all that?

Yes, and I just felt my breath stop.

Yes, and I had the thought, “whoa, that sounds tough.”

Let us know the yes, and play that lights up your relating.